A study of some 160,000 car accident insurance claims finds the most accident-prone zodiac signs are …
5. Cancer [June 22-July 22]
4. Virgo [Aug 23-Sept 22]
3. Pisces [Feb 19-Mar 20]
2. Taurus [Apr 20-May 20]
1. Gemini [May 21-June 21]
I'm a Gemini so I guess I better be careful on the roads today.
IF GUYS WERE REALLY IN CHARGE:
• Valentines Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
• On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking.
• Birth control would come in ale or lager.
• The only TV show opposite “The Super Bowl” would be “The Super Bowl From a Different Camera Angle”.
• Instead of ‘beer belly’, you’d get ‘beer biceps’.
• People would never talk about how ‘fresh’ they felt in TV ads.
• The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
• Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards.
Things moms & dads of wee ones are required to do that they shouldn’t feel guilty about
• Pretending to be asleep.
• Pretending to be deaf.
• Lying about what day it is.
• Claiming it’s nighttime when it’s only 4:30 pm.
• Convincing tots that it will be nap time when the microwave beeps.
• Taking the batteries out of an annoying toy and saying it’s broken.
• Giving a kid a hot dog that fell on the floor.
• Faking a shoulder injury so you don’t have to carry anyone.